roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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