U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
