I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We have started to decorate penises.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
