another moral hangover. fuck.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize
