i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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