how can u be prego again
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Randomize
