I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
