So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
