Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
