Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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