miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
