So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
