I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
