i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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