i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
