I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
