I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
