my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
