I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
