The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
