this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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