He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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