I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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