He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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