Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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