his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
