New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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