Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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