Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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