dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
