I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
