the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
