the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
