Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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