She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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