I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you didnt know i had herpes?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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