To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
