omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
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