foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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