And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
