i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
