Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Randomize
