Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
