Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Im just a social blackout drinker.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
