Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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