Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
