Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I pour the whiskey from now on
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
