in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i dont even know how to be here
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
