this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
