No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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